Better If He Goes (Always You Book 1) Read online

  "I don't mind." I plop down on his bed and finish my cookie. "These are so good. Maybe your mom could teach me how to bake."

  "Cookies are easy. Even I could do it. We should make some together."

  "That sounds fun. We should totally do that. Maybe Saturday after work. Actually, I think I'd rather go out on Saturday. Where do you want to go?"

  "Not sure," he says, plugging his phone into the charger. "I might have to invite Brad to join us. He doesn't know anyone here. I don't want to leave him here alone on a Saturday night."

  "Yeah, totally. I forgot he'd be here. Is he taking your sister's room?"

  "No, the room in the basement. My mom thought it'd be quieter for studying."

  "He's taking classes?"

  "No, but he wants to stay up on what he learned so he's ready for med school in the fall." Nate sits beside me. "Lucky bastard. He's going to make a shitload of money someday."

  "So are you. You're a talented designer. Designers make good money, don't they?"

  "Depends on the job. I'm not even sure what I'm going to do yet."

  "I thought you wanted to work at an ad agency."

  "Only because I know I can find a job there." He picks up his soda and guzzles it down.

  I turn to him. "Nate, you shouldn't take a job you don't like. Find something you really want to do."

  "I don't know what that is yet. And until I do, I need to find a job that pays the bills. My student loan payments will be starting soon, and then there's rent and car insurance and all the other shit that comes with being an adult."

  "Yeah, I know," I say, slumping back against the headboard. "Sometimes being an adult really sucks. Remember when we thought it'd be so cool to be an adult?"

  "Some parts of it are. Like driving. Staying up as late as you want. Eating junk that's not good for you. Falling in love."

  I look at him, smiling. "Are you saying you've been in love?"

  He finishes his soda and sets the can on the nightstand, not answering me.

  I turn to face him. "Were you in love and didn't tell me?"

  "No," he casually says. "But I like the idea of it."

  "Why? According to my mom, falling in love just leads to heartbreak."

  "Or it could lead to happiness."

  "It didn't for your parents. Or for mine, although mine don't count since my dad took off before he even knew my mom was pregnant. That definitely wasn't love."

  "But you still believe in it, right?"

  "Sure. I mean, I want to believe in it."

  "You kinda have to," he says with a laugh, "given that you already love me."

  "True." I scoot closer to him and rest my head on his shoulder. "Guess that makes you my first love."

  "And you're mine," he says quietly, kissing the top of my head.

  This is why people think we're a couple. The kisses and hugs and admitting we love each other...it makes us seem like a couple. But we're not. Nate even admitted he's never thought of me that way. I was surprised when he said that. I thought for sure he'd at least considered dating me over the years, but I guess not.

  "So this summer..." I say.

  "What about it?"

  "It's not going to be what I was hoping."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I thought it'd be like all the other years. You and me doing everything together. Working at the pool, then going out, or hanging out here."

  "We'll still do that stuff."

  "But it won't be the same. Not with your cousin here."

  "We can do stuff without him. Brad's good at making friends. He'll meet people here and after a few weeks, he'll be doing stuff with them. I probably won't even see him that much, other than work."

  "You'll still want to spend time with him, which I totally understand. I was just hoping to have you all to myself. It's our last summer before you get a job. In a few months, you'll move away and I'll never see you again."

  "You'll see me again." He puts his arm around me. "I promise. And as for Brad, I'm dragging you along with us wherever we go, even if it's to one of those sci-fi movies you hate."

  I groan. "Ugh, haven't we seen enough of those?"

  Nate and I are similar in many ways, but not when it comes to our taste in movies. I like movies with fast cars and lots of action and he likes sci-fi and dramas.

  "Riley, I know you're worried things will change with Brad here, but I'll do everything I can to make this summer as good as all the other ones. We'll still hang out like we used to, and who knows? You might like Brad enough that you actually want him hanging out with us."

  "If he's like you, I'll definitely like him."

  "We have a few similarities, but we're also really different."

  "Like how? What's he like?"

  "He's really outgoing. Popular. Like I said, he makes friends easily."

  "So do you."

  "It takes me more time to warm up to people. I can be kind of shy until I get to know someone. Remember how shy I was when we met?"

  "I didn't think you were shy. You came and sat at my table at lunch before you even knew me. Most guys would go sit with another guy, but you chose to sit by me." I look up at him. "You never said why you did that."

  "Because you smiled at me. When I walked in the cafeteria, you're the first person I saw and you smiled at me. I thought you were inviting me over."

  "No." I laugh. "And actually, I was smiling at Lana. She was standing right behind you, waving at me on her way to class."

  "Lana Kline?"

  "Yeah. Back when we were still friends. Before she stole my boyfriend."

  "But her stealing your boyfriend is how we got to be friends. So in a way, she did you a favor."

  "She still shouldn't have done it. She purposely went behind my back and asked him out." I hear the anger in my voice just talking about it.

  "She only did it because of her mom. You know Janelle told her to do it."

  "Still doesn't make it right." I turn to face Nate. "Talk about not being able to let stuff go. Janelle is STILL being a bitch to my mom. Just last weekend at the grocery store she told the clerk she saw my mom stealing."

  "Was she?" he asks, cautiously.

  "No!" I whack his shoulder. "My mom stopped doing that years ago. Janelle made it up because she's jealous my mom's dating Dave. It's the same reason she hated my mom in high school. My mom got the guys and Janelle didn't. Now my mom has Dave, who Janelle has a huge crush on."

  "But she's married."

  "Exactly. And yet Dave says she flirts with him whenever she's at the gas station." I roll my eyes. "I wish they'd move out of town. Actually, I wish I could be the one to leave town so I could get away from people like Lana and her mom."

  Nate pulls me back down beside him. "Forget about them and just be happy you smiled at me that day, even if it was meant for Lana. If you hadn't, I might've been too afraid to sit with you."

  "You were so nervous," I say, thinking back. "You barely said anything to me, and when you did, you wouldn't look at me."

  "I wasn't used to talking to girls. Most guys aren't at that age. You have to give me some credit for going up to you and sitting at your table. That was a bold move. And then later I went up to you at your locker and asked how your day was going. Another bold move."

  "One you probably regret, given what happened."

  "Not at all." He hugs me into his side. "If that hadn't happened, we'd never be as close as we are now."

  The day Nate and I met was the day Lana went after Ian. I found them kissing in the hallway between classes. I was devastated and went straight to my locker to get my stuff to go home. That's when Nate came up to me and asked how my day was going. He had a big smile on his face, completely unaware of what I'd just seen. He probably thought I'd say my day was fine and that would be it. But instead, I broke down crying. Big loud messy sobs. Nate looked stunned and assumed he was the cause of my tears. He took me in his arms and asked what he'd done, and that's when I explained what happened.

>   The bell went off for last period, but instead of going to class, we snuck out and went to his house to talk, right here, on this very bed. I laid in his arms, just like I'm doing now, and poured my heart out to him. He listened to me go on and on, crying for a good hour, and when I was all cried out, he ordered us a pizza from Pete's. He told me to pick my favorite kind. I told him he wouldn't like it. He ordered it anyway. It was the pineapple-bacon one, which happened to be his favorite too.

  When I left his house that night, I knew we'd be friends forever.

  There's a knock on the door. "Nate? Are you in there?"

  "Yeah, Mom. What do you need?"

  Kathy opens the door, smiling when she notices me sitting next to Nate. "I see he found you. The second he got home, he went to go find his Riley. Didn't even give me a hug."

  I whack his arm. "Nate, you should always hug your mom."

  He laughs. "I did hug her, but it was quick. More like half a hug. Still counts."

  "It's fine," Kathy says with a laugh. "I'm glad you two are back together. Nate just isn't the same without you."

  I look at him and see a hint of pink on his cheeks. Is he blushing?

  "Mom," he says. "Riley and I were talking. Did you need something or are you just saying hi?"

  "Both. I left work early because I feel like I'm coming down with a cold. I'm going to go rest so you'll need to figure out dinner on your own."

  "That's fine." He smiles. "And Mom, you don't have to keep making me dinner. I'm 22. I can make my own."

  "Oh, I talked to your Aunt Sheryl. She said Brad won't be coming until Friday now."

  "Yeah, he told me."

  "Did you tell Riley about Brad?"

  "A little. She'll meet him this weekend. We're all going out Saturday night."

  "Oh, good. That'll be fun." She smiles at me. "Brad's a very nice young man. Funny. Smart. And very handsome. I think you'll like him."

  "Mom, you sound like you're setting her up with him," Nate says.

  "Isn't he still dating Jess?" Kathy asks.

  "It was Tess, and no, they broke up months ago."

  "And he doesn't have someone new?"

  "Not that I know of."

  "I'm surprised. I can't imagine a boy that handsome going that long without a girl."

  "Um, Mom, what are you trying to say here?"

  She shakes her head really fast. "Oh! No! Honey, I'm not saying you're not handsome. I just meant that Brad usually has a girlfriend. I'm surprised he's gone this long without one."

  "Maybe he didn't want to get involved with someone knowing he'd be moving back to Arizona."

  "I suppose. Well, I'm going to go lay down. Let me know if you need anything."

  "Okay, Mom. Hope you feel better." He waits for her to close the door. "Did it sound to you like she was saying I'm ugly?"

  I laugh. "No. And you're not ugly. You're hot."

  He turns to me, a slight grin forming. "You think I'm hot?"

  "You know you're hot. That's why you had so many girlfriends in college. You had so many I lost count."

  "Those were dates, not girlfriends."

  "You had a few that were girlfriends, and you wouldn't have had all those dates if you weren't hot."

  "They could've just been dating me for my personality," he kids.

  "Yeah, because a good personality is always what girls look for first in a guy."

  "Hey, it's possible." He brings his knee up, resting his arm on it. "What do you look for?"

  "In a guy?" I pause to think. "Shouldn't you already know this? You know me better than anyone."

  "Not when it comes to this. You never talk to me about guys."

  "Because I haven't dated anyone in forever. There's nothing to say."

  "So what are you looking for?"

  "I'm not looking. Even if I was, there isn't anyone here I'd want to date."

  "No one?" he asks, his brows rising.

  "Why are you asking like that? Are you thinking of someone in particular?"

  "No. I'm just surprised you're not looking."

  "I don't want to date someone until I've figured out what I'm doing with my life. Right now I'm in this dead-end job, living with my mom, driving a truck that's not even mine. This wasn't how my life was supposed to go, but I haven't figured out how to change it, and until I do, I don't want to get involved with someone."

  "But maybe that someone would lead to a new life. One you'd actually like, maybe even love."

  I look at him funny. "What are we talking about here? I feel like you're trying to tell me something."

  "I'm telling you not to close any doors just because you think you have to wait until you have everything figured out."

  "Close doors? I don't get it. What are you trying to say?"

  "Forget it." He gets up from the bed. "Let's go to a movie. Or we could get a drink. I never got that beer at lunch. You want to go to the brewery?"

  Hopping off the bed, I go up to Nate as he grabs his phone from the charger. "What just happened?"

  "What do you mean?"

  "What were you trying to tell me just now?"

  "Nothing. Just forget it." He goes around me to his closet.

  "Nate, tell me what you meant."

  He grabs a sweatshirt and walks over to me. "It was just a general statement about being open to new things. Graduating from college has got me thinking about that stuff."

  "What stuff?"

  "Life, and what to do with it. Now that I'm done with school, I have a lot of decisions to make. Decisions that could affect the rest of my life."

  "Yeah? So? That's true for everyone."

  "Which is why I told you not to close any doors. You never know what's going to happen. You have to be open to what's right in front of you. See new possibilities where you didn't see them before." He grabs my hand and pulls me toward the door. "Let's go."

  "I still have no clue what you're talking about."

  "Just think about it," he says.

  When I'm home later, I do think about it and it still makes no sense. What's right in front of me? What possibilities am I not seeing? Does he mean with my job? I have thought of asking Renee if she'd give me more responsibilities, along with a bump in pay. I've also thought of getting a job somewhere else. I've worked at the salon since high school and only got the job because my mom is a stylist there. Maybe it's time to find something new, a job I would actually like.

  It's something to consider, but I don't think it's what Nate meant when he said all that today. Why didn't he just come out and say whatever he was trying to tell me? He's usually so direct. So why wasn't he today?

  Chapter Four

  Riley

  "Okay, don't be mad," April says as she races up to me in the salon. It's noon, and she just got here for her afternoon shift.

  "You can't go tonight," I say, sweeping up hair from the last customer. The salon is really busy today, which is typical for a Friday when everyone wants their hair done for the weekend.

  "I'm really sorry," April says, pulling her pink hair up in a ponytail and securing it in place. "It's just that Wayne's buddies cancelled at the last minute and he's taking me out to dinner."

  "So you cancelled your plans for him even though he'd never do the same for you," I say, continuing to sweep.

  "It's not like that. If you had a guy, you'd understand."

  I stop sweeping and look at her. "Really?"

  She cringes. "Sorry. I shouldn't have said it that way." She perks up. "Wait! You do have a guy. You have Nate. What was I thinking? Just go out with him tonight. You'll have more fun with him anyway."

  "Nate and I aren't a couple," I say, going over to get the dustpan. "But if we were, I wouldn't cancel on a friend just because he told me to."

  "Riley, I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you. How about we go to lunch tomorrow? My treat."

  "I can't. I start at the pool tomorrow. There's a staff meeting."

  "That's right. I forgot. Well, I'll make it up to you som
e other way."

  "Don't worry about it. I'm not mad at you. I understand you want to be with your boyfriend. I'm just annoyed whenever this happens because it's what my mom used to do, and still does."

  April frowns. "Sorry. I wasn't even thinking about that."

  April knows about my mom's obsession with men and how she'll do pretty much anything to keep a man until she's done with him. Growing up, she'd cancel our plans all the time because of a guy. Once she even cancelled my birthday party so she could go on a date.

  "It's fine," I tell her. "I just hope it doesn't become a regular thing. You should be able to have a life outside of Wayne. He shouldn't be able to do what he wants, but then tell you what to do."

  "He doesn't tell me what to do. I mean, he kind of did today, but I really do want to see him tonight." She takes the broom from me. "Let me help you clean up."

  "You can't." I take the broom back. "You have an appointment at 12:15."

  "I do?" She checks her phone. "I don't see it on the schedule."

  "It's a walk-in. That's why I'm hurrying to clean up around your chair."

  April searches the front waiting area. "Where is she? What's she look like?"

  "It's not a she. It's a guy." I look up front, but only see women. "I don't know what he looks like. I didn't see him. Maybe he went next door to get a coffee." I check the clock. "You have five minutes. You should go put your stuff away. I need to finish cleaning up."

  She takes off for the break room as I sweep up the rest of the hair.

  "This seat taken?" a deep voice asks.

  I look up and see a guy standing just behind the chair. He's tall with thick brown hair and dark eyes, wearing a black shirt that has to stretch to fit over his wide shoulders and muscular arms.

  "Sorry, that was a joke," he says.

  I was totally checking him out and never answered him. I quickly look up at him and smile. "Yeah. Um, go ahead. I'm almost done."

  "I can wait until you're finished." He's holding a cup of coffee from the place next door. He takes a sip while I hurry to collect the last clumps of hair.

  "Busy place," he says, looking around.

  "Yeah, we get really busy on Fridays. Everyone wants to look good for going out on Friday night."

  "Same here. I thought I'd clean up before going out."