Secrets Told Page 9
"Thank you," I say, not sure where he's going with this. I don't know what he means by 'more involved' and it's making me nervous.
"I want you to work for me four days a week. I've talked with Peter about this and he's fine with it. In fact, he encouraged it."
"Senator Falkin, I—"
"Call me Jett. We're friends now. At least I think we are." He gives me that toothy grin of his.
"Jett, I appreciate the opportunity, but I really want experience drafting proposals and this job gives me that experience. Although I like doing the campaign work, it's not what I see myself doing in the future."
"If you like the campaign work, why wouldn't you make it your career?"
How do I explain this in a way that's not insulting to him or what he does for a living?
"The lifestyle just didn't fit me," I say. "I want to get married. Have a family. I don't want to work all the time and always be on the road."
It's a fair answer. He can't fault me for wanting a personal life.
"You can do all that and still work on campaigns. I have plenty of people on my staff who have families. You should talk to them. See how they make it work."
"I'm sure I could make it work. I just don't want that to be my life. I don't want to be traveling all the time."
"But as of now, you're single, which means you can work on the campaign. And you'll still be working for Peter, just not as much as before."
He pauses, expecting me to agree to his offer, but I keep quiet so he continues.
"I don't think you understand how high-profile this re-election campaign is going to be. Being a staff member on this campaign will expose you to a lot of people. People in the media. Policy makers. Influencers. The type of people who make change happen. The type of people you need to be connected with if you really want to make a difference."
He's persuasive. I'll give him that. He's saying exactly what I want to hear. And although he's probably exaggerating a little, part of what he's saying is true. It is a high-profile campaign that would connect me with a lot of influential people. But I'd be doing what I told Kate I would never do. Accepting this job will mean arguing with Kate again, but maybe if I explained my reasoning and how it'll help our future down the road, she'd understand.
"What do you say?" Jett asks. "Are you on board?"
I hesitate. What do I do? Take it and possibly harm my relationship with Kate? Or turn it down and keep doing a job that's monotonous and boring and doesn't seem to be going anywhere.
"Count me in," I say, before my mind has a chance to catch up.
"Great!" Jett stands up. "I'll let Peter know. We should all go to lunch to celebrate. But not today. I have to catch a plane back to Washington." He walks to the door, opens it, then turns back and smiles. "You made the right decision, Gavin. You're on your way to a bright future."
He leaves and goes down the hall while I remain in the conference room wondering what just happened and if I really did make the right decision or if I just made a huge mistake.
***
When I get home that night, I find Kate making dinner. She's stirring something on the stove and I come up behind her and wrap my arms around her. "Hey, beautiful."
"Hi." She lifts her head for a kiss.
"You didn't have to make dinner," I tell her. "You've been cooking all day. I was going to take you out."
"I wanted to stay in." She turns to face me. "Last night we didn't get a chance to..." she smiles, "...you know...do what we talked about earlier."
Lowering my mouth to her neck, I leave soft kisses just below her ear. "How soon will dinner be done?"
"A few minutes." She closes her eyes as I continue to kiss her. "You need to stop that."
"Why?" I run my hand down the back of her skirt and lift up the fabric to caress the soft skin on the back of her thigh.
"Gavin," she breathes. "Dinner. It'll burn."
"Who cares?"
"We'll do this later." Her head falls back as my lips move up her throat.
"I think you want to do it now," I say, as I feel how wet she is. I shove her panties aside and slip my finger in her.
"Hold on." She turns the stove off, then slides the skillet off the burner. "Okay, let's go."
I move her away from the stove to the counter across from it. I lift her up and hurry to undo my belt.
"Gavin, we're not doing it here."
"Why not?" I kiss her. "We haven't done it in the kitchen yet. We said we'd do it in every room. And this way, you can keep an eye on dinner."
She puts her hand on my chest, holding me back. "If we do it now, can we do it again later? In the bedroom?"
I smile as I kiss her. "You really have to ask? You know I'll do it whenever and wherever you want. Consider this an appetizer."
She smiles and yanks her tank top off, then quickly undoes the buttons on my dress shirt.
"I love your body," she says, her eyes going to my chest.
"I love yours more." I shove her skirt up and flick open the front clasp on her bra. As she takes it off, I suck her nipple into my mouth, teasing it with my tongue.
"Gavin," she moans, pulling me closer and wrapping her legs around me.
Moving her panties aside, I push inside her, then grab her hips, keeping hold of her as she moves with me.
"You feel so damn good," I whisper in her ear.
She loves it when I say things like that. It turns her on and makes her come faster, so I say it again as my hands grip her tighter and my hips thrust into her.
I'm ready whenever she is, the rising tension ready to burst. When I feel her releasing, I let myself go and we ride it out together. I'm always amazed how compatible we are. I've never been so in sync with someone.
I take a moment to breathe, then gently kiss her before lowering her back to the floor.
"I love you," I whisper, looking her in the eye.
"I love you too." She gives me that beautiful smile that instantly attracted me to her when we met and was one of the many reasons I fell in love with her.
"That was a good appetizer," she says, putting her tank top on.
"And later we'll have dessert." I give her a kiss. "I'm going to go change and then I'll help with dinner."
She returns to the stove while I go to our room. The anxious feeling I had on the train ride home is back now because I know I have to tell Kate about my job. I was going to tell her as soon as I got home but then I hugged her and she kissed me and before I knew it we were having sex.
Now I have to go in there and tell her. I've practiced it in my head so I know what to say. I just don't want to say it. She's going to be mad, or at the very least, disappointed. I don't know which is worse. Probably disappointment. I hate disappointing her.
"Gavin, dinner's ready," I hear her say.
"Be there in a minute." I need to tell her before dinner. If I don't, I won't be able to eat. Then again, when she finds out, it'll likely start an argument and we won't end up eating anyway.
When I get to the table, she has our food plated and candles lit.
"I wanted a romantic dinner," she says, pointing to the candles. We almost never light the candles. They just sit there on the table as decoration.
"It looks great." I take a seat. "Thanks."
"You're welcome." She kisses my cheek, then sits across from me. I watch as she picks up her fork and starts eating.
"Kate, I need to—"
"Did I tell you my mom's getting here tomorrow?" she says, interrupting me.
"Um, I thought you said Friday."
"I did, but she got an earlier flight so now she'll be in tomorrow around six. I thought we could pick her up and take her to dinner, then drive her to New Haven. She'll be using her friend's car while she's here, but it's at the apartment she'll be staying at so she needs a ride."
"Yeah, that's fine." I need to just say it. I can't concentrate on what she's saying when my mind is on what I need to tell her.
"My mom didn't really say what s
he's going to do while she's here. She offered to help with the restaurant but I'm not sure what to have her do. Maybe she could retest some recipes. Make sure I got the measurements right."
Kate continues to talk but I'm not sure what she's saying.
"Gavin?" She nudges my foot under the table. "Are you awake over there?"
"Sorry, I'm just tired."
She smiles. "You weren't tired a few minutes ago."
"The sex relaxed me. Now I'm tired."
"Too tired to do it again later?"
After I tell her this, we won't be doing that. She'll probably make me sleep on the couch.
"Gavin?"
I never answered her. I keep spacing out. I need to pay attention.
"I'm never too tired for that," I say.
"Well, if dessert is as good as the appetizer, I can't wait." She shoots a smile my way as she cuts into her chicken.
She's being really flirtatious tonight, wanting sex, more than once. She used to always be like that, but the past few weeks she's been so consumed by the restaurant that sex has been last on her to-do list.
I think having my grandfather help out at the restaurant has eased her stress. It sounds like he's also helping manage her work crew, which was taking up a lot of her time.
"Did Henry say how it's going at your mom's house?" Kate asks. "I was going to ask him but then thought it'd be better if you did."
"I talked to him this morning. He said it's going fine. My mom's been gone a lot so he hasn't seen her much."
"Where does she go?"
"I don't know. Probably to dinner parties or other social events. Now that she's back in town, I'm sure she's getting invited to that stuff again."
"Do you know if she's..." her voice trails off.
"Drinking? No. But my grandpa doesn't think she is and I don't either. I'm telling you, Kate, when she's sober, she's like a different person. She actually seems like she's there when I'm talking to her instead of having that distant look in her eyes. And she responds right away when you say something instead of having to stop and think. I used to have to keep repeating myself because she couldn't remember anything. Even when she wasn't drunk, she still wasn't quite right."
"Maybe it'll stick this time." Kate reaches over and squeezes my hand. "Maybe the rehab worked and she'll quit for good. If my dad can do it, your mom can too."
"Have you heard from your dad?"
She sits back. "Not since we had dinner. He has a ton of new clients. He's been working nonstop so I haven't called him. I'll text him tomorrow and see how he's doing."
"You think he'll hang out with your mom at all while she's here?"
"Probably not. They only talk or see each other when they have to, so I think it's safe to say they won't be hanging out together. But they'll only be living a few miles apart so they might run into each other at the grocery store." She laughs. "I still can't believe your mom was flirting with my dad."
"I can't believe you were worried about it. You know your dad would never date her."
"I know. I overreacted. I'd just never seen your mom flirt before so I kind of panicked when I saw her flirting with my dad. But I still don't know why she did it."
I need to tell Kate about my job. I can't keep stalling.
"Kate, I need to tell you something." I set my fork on my plate.
"Go ahead." She takes a drink of her water.
"So you know how I've been—"
Her phone rings. It's on the table next to her and she has the ringer turned up. It's really loud.
"It's Megan," she says, lowering the volume. "She called earlier and I was too busy to talk and forgot to call her back." She gets up. "Go ahead and eat. I have to talk to her. I'll be right back."
Ten minutes later, she's still on the phone, and when she finally ends the call, she tells me Megan's in town and wants Kate to go to a movie. I tell her to go and that I'll clean up dinner. I know Kate misses Megan, and after all the hours Kate's put in at work, she could use a night off. She kisses me goodbye and promises we'll have 'dessert' later when she gets home.
I didn't get to tell her my news and now I'm wondering if maybe I should wait. Because honestly, I really don't know what I'll be doing for Senator Falkin so maybe I should wait until I know for sure and then tell Kate. Besides, I won't be working for him full-time, just four days a week.
So there's really no rush to tell Kate. I can tell her later. I'd rather not tell her at all, but we swore we'd never keep secrets. So I'll tell her. Just not now. Not until I have to.
Chapter Ten
Kate
"I'm so happy you're here," I say to my mom as I hug for like the millionth time. She arrived last night. Gavin and I took her to dinner, then to her apartment, which is literally three miles from my dad's place. I didn't tell her that. She knows he lives in New Haven but she doesn't know where and she hasn't asked.
This morning we're going to breakfast. I'll be late getting to the restaurant but Henry is taking my place supervising the crew. I don't know what I'd do without him. He's been a huge help and offered to stay longer than just this week to help out. He even said he'd stay until we opened but I hate to make him do that. He insists he doesn't mind, saying he'd rather be here than listen to his noisy neighbor all day, so as of now he's staying. I'm sure Celeste won't like it but so far, she hasn't complained about him staying with her. Maybe she secretly likes having him there so she's not alone in that big house.
My mom keeps me in the hug. "I'm happy too, honey. I've missed you so much. I should've been coming to see you instead of spending all my time with Allen. I thought he and I had something good going, but I guess it was all an illusion."
I pull back and see her teary eyes. "I know it's hard but I think it's best if you don't focus too much on the past. Believe me, I've spent weeks, even months, trying to analyze what went wrong in my own relationships and I've found it's a waste of time. You'll never really know what the reason is so why dwell on it?"
"I just keep thinking if I'd only been home more or paid more attention to him. I thought I did, but maybe it wasn't enough."
"Mom, stop blaming yourself. This had nothing to do with you. Allen just wasn't a good guy. And he's an idiot. He has to be if he let you go. You were way too good for him."
She smiles and smooths my hair like she did when I was little. "You're such a sweet girl. Gavin is lucky to have you."
"And I'm lucky to have him. He's a great guy."
"So things are going well between you two?"
"Couldn't be better. I was worried about moving in with him but it's only made our relationship stronger."
"Do you think he'll propose soon?"
"I told him I'm not ready. Honestly, I'm not really sure I want to get married."
Her brows draw together in concern. "To Gavin? Or anyone?"
"If I get married someday it would be to Gavin. I love him more than anything. I just don't know if I want to get married. Living together is going so well that why ruin it by getting married?"
"Why would that ruin it?"
"Marriage changes things." I go over and sit on the couch.
"It doesn't have to." She sits beside me. "It depends on the couple."
"You and Dad broke up and you told me everyone said you were the perfect couple."
"On the outside, yes. But people didn't know what our marriage was like. They didn't see your father passed out drunk almost every night. They didn't see how he stopped talking to me and stopped being a dad to you and put all his focus on work. We needed him and he wasn't there for us. And then he left. I had no choice but to divorce him."
I wish I could tell her the real reason my dad left. Why he started drinking. Why he got fired. All she knows are the lies she was told. Lies meant to protect her, and me. If she knew the real story, I wonder how she'd feel about my dad. I wonder if it would've kept them from divorcing all those years ago. I know a small part of her still cares about my dad and I know he still cares about her.
That's why I'm so adamant about keeping Gavin away from politicians and the rich powerful men who pay to get them elected and keep them in office. I don't want Gavin anywhere near those people, which is why I can't back down if he decides to consider a career in politics. I can deal with him working a few hours a week for Senator Falkin if Gavin really believes it will connect him with people who will help him get a better job someday. But if he decides to make working on campaigns his career then I don't know if we could have a future together.
"Kate." I feel my mom's hand on mine. "Don't let what happened to your father and me affect your future with Gavin. He's never going to leave you. He loves you and is committed to you and wouldn't even consider walking out on you or doing anything to hurt you."
"Dad loved you." I look at her. "Even after he left, he still loved you."
"He didn't love me, honey." She frowns. "I'm sure that's what you wanted to believe back then but you were only a child. You wanted your parents back together."
"It's not about that. It's the truth. Dad loved you. He didn't want to leave. He just—" I stop before I say too much. I know I can't tell her the truth, but I wish I could. She's hurting right now because Allen left her. And Dad left her too. So in her mind she thinks she's the common denominator. That it's her fault they left. That she did something wrong. But Dad didn't want to leave her. He was forced to. If only I could tell her that.
"Men who are in love don't leave," she says, rubbing my hand. "Your father loved his job and his vodka, but not me." She smiles softly. "But Gavin's not your father so don't try to compare them. I think Gavin would make a wonderful husband, and a wonderful father someday."