Keeping Her Read online

  "But I'm a very hard worker. And you don't have to pay me much. I could—"

  "Miss Evans." He walks around his desk to the door, holding it open for me. "I don't want to take up any more of your time. I'm sorry, but I can't hire you. If you'd like me to put you in contact with our volunteer services, I'd be happy to do so."

  "Thank you, but I'm hoping to find a full-time job." I shake his hand. "It was nice meeting you."

  I hurry out of there before I scream at the guy. He didn't even give me a chance to go over my experience or explain the ideas I had if I were to be hired. I spent hours preparing for this interview, only to be kicked out of his office in less than five minutes.

  At dinner, Pearce asks me how the interview went and I just say it went fine. I don't want to talk about it. That man was really old and grew up in an era when women didn't work if they didn't have to, so maybe that's why he reacted that way.

  "So how's your new job?" I ask Pearce.

  "Good. But I feel like I didn't get much done." He smiles. "Jack sent me home at five. I felt as though I had just got there and yet he was telling me my day was over."

  "What did you do while you were there?"

  "Met with the product team. We went over their budget and timeline for the new product launch. Then I met with the marketing team and we talked through their initial strategy for introducing the product to the client."

  "Sounds like you did a lot."

  "I mostly just listened. I didn't do a lot of hands-on work. That will come later."

  "I know it's only the first day, but do you think you'll like working there?"

  "Definitely. It's interesting. Challenging. And I actually look forward to going back there."

  I reach over and kiss him. "I'm really happy for you. It sounds like a great job."

  He continues to tell me about it, and it really does sound great. I just wish I could find a job as well. But after today's incident, I'm starting to get worried.

  On Thursday, I go to my second interview. The job is only part-time but it might become full-time in a few months.

  "Would you like some coffee or water?" the man interviewing me asks as we take a seat in his office. His name is Curt.

  "No, thank you."

  He coughs. "I really need some water. I'll be right back." Curt gets up and opens the door. "Sandra, would you mind grabbing me some water?"

  She agrees, and he comes back to his desk. Curt is around 30, with dark hair and black-rimmed glasses. He's wearing casual pants and a plaid button-up shirt. He looks like a teacher I had in junior high.

  "So tell me about your background," he says, picking his pen up to take notes.

  "Well, I've always been interested in history, particularly—"

  "Hold on." He waves at someone to come in the room. It's the woman who was sitting at the desk out front. She hands him a bottle of water.

  "Oh my God!" she says, startling me. "Rachel!"

  She's staring at me, so I say, "I'm sorry, do I know you?"

  "No. But I know you." She smiles and comes around to shake my hand. "You're the lucky woman who snagged Pearce Kensington. I have the magazine with you two on the cover."

  "You're dating Pearce Kensington?" Curt asks.

  "They're engaged!" Sandra answers before I can. "They're getting married in March."

  "Sandra, could you give us a moment?" Curt says.

  "Oh, yes, certainly. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." She takes off, closing the door behind her.

  Curt clears his throat and looks very uncomfortable. I'm getting a bad feeling about what he's about to say.

  "Rachel, I'm sure you're very qualified for the job, but given the fact that you're, um…"

  "Going to be the wife of Pearce Kensington," I say, finishing his thought.

  "Yes. That, um, changes things." He points to a stack of resumes on this desk. "I have a lot of applicants and I need to give this job to someone who needs it. I'm sorry, but I can't consider you, knowing your situation."

  I nod, eyeing the resumes. There must be at least thirty of them in that stack. Thirty people want this job. Most of them are probably living paycheck to paycheck, like I was doing before I met Pearce. Would I be mad if a job I really wanted and needed went to the wife of a billionaire instead of me? The answer is yes. I would.

  Dammit. My Hirshfield advisor was right. I can't get a job, at least not a paying one. Even if I'm the most qualified person I won't be given the job, because I don't need one. I'm a billionaire. I don't need the money. If I want to work, I have to work for free. I have to volunteer. That's my only option.

  I stand up. "Thank you for your time."

  He walks me to the door and I leave, feeling completely deflated.

  When Pearce gets home, I tell him about both of my interviews.

  "I'll never have a job, Pearce."

  We're sitting together on the couch. I'm leaning back on his chest and his arms are around me.

  "You've only been on two interviews. You need to go on some more. Didn't you say you had one next week?"

  "Yes, but the same thing is going to happen. Nobody wants to hire Pearce Kensington's wife. Or fiancé."

  He doesn't argue the fact. He knows it's true.

  "I feel stupid for even going on those interviews. They're right. There are so many people out there who need the money more than I do. It would be wrong of me to take a job. But I don't understand why it's different for you. Is it just because you're a man? You get to work and I have to stay home?"

  "Rachel, I only have this job because I know Jack. If I went out and tried to get a job anywhere else, I'd have the same issues you're having. People would tell me I don't need the money or that I should go work for my father. That's why wealthy people who want to work end up working in the family business. It's the only place they can get hired."

  "So now what do I do?"

  "I think you should go on a few more interviews. You never know what will happen until you go."

  "Yes, but like I said, I don't want to take a job from someone who needs it. Maybe I should try volunteering."

  "At a museum?"

  "Yes. And maybe I should get involved in some organizations."

  He kisses my head and pulls me closer. "Whatever you want to do. I'll support you any way I can. I just want you to be happy."

  I tilt my head back to kiss him. "I know you do. I love you."

  "I love you too."

  The following Monday, I go to another interview and see two women in their thirties waiting to be interviewed. The job barely pays anything and yet they still applied. They really need this job. I don't. I tell the person at the front desk that I've changed my mind and then I leave, deciding that my job search is over.

  My career ended before it even started.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  19

  PEARCE

  I've been working for Jack for a week now and it's going better than expected. Truthfully, I wasn't sure what to expect. I know Jack is successful, but given his odd personality I wasn't sure what type of boss he would be. It turns out, he's an excellent boss. Rather than hovering over his employees and telling them what to do every second of the day, Jack trusts them to do their job and do it well. And if they don't do it well, they get called into the corporate dining room for a steak lunch, after which they have to give a presentation to Jack regarding why their job performance isn't up to par and and what they can do to correct it.

  It's an unusual approach, but it seems to work. The employees I've talked with said the steak lunch seems like less of a disciplinary session and more like a coaching session. And having to give the presentation forces them to find a way to fix whatever problem led them to the steak lunch meeting. They also like that Jack tells it like it is. He's not afraid to tell someone what they need to work on, but he does so in a way that's supportive, rather than yelling at them, like my father would.

  Since working here I've spent most of my time in meetings, but instead of j
ust sitting there, as I did at Kensington Chemical, I'm actually allowed to participate in the meetings. I'm able to have an actual discussion and leave the meeting feeling like I accomplished something.

  My work day is so short that I feel like I'm hardly ever at the office. But I like this schedule. It gives me more time with Rachel, who is feeling depressed right now. She's given up looking for a job and now she's searching for volunteer opportunities. I think if she found the right organization, she'd like volunteering, but right now, she's not thrilled about it. She really wanted to work at a regular job.

  Last night she brought up the baby topic again, saying she's ready to see a doctor to find out if she might be able to have a child. I worry that the results she gets back will just depress her even more, but she really wants to do this so I told her about the clinic Logan suggested. This morning she called to get an appointment but the first one they had available is a month away.

  I was relieved. I'm not ready to get the results. If they confirm she can't have children, she'll be devastated. But if they find that she can, we'll end up having children, and that scares me. I went to bed last night thinking about this and had a dream in which I had a son. It turned into a nightmare because Dunamis took him. They took him as a baby and wouldn't give him back. That would never happen because initiation doesn't occur until age 20. But still, just the image of them taking my son nearly stopped my heart. I woke up in a panic, breathless and sweating.

  "What are you still doing here?" Jack asks as he walks into my office. He plops down on the small couch that's off to the side.

  "It's only five. The day just ended."

  "It's ten after five. You should be heading home to that beautiful wife of yours. I wish I had a woman like that to go home to."

  "Jack, don't put down your wife. You're lucky the woman puts up with you."

  "I'm not saying anything against my wife. I'm saying I'm jealous of you, you lucky bastard. I see why you risked it all to be with her. How's she doing, by the way?"

  "She's upset that she isn't able to find a job."

  "A job? Why the hell would she want a job? Having to put up with shit. Dealing with idiots all day. Wasting your life at an office. If I could retire tomorrow, I would."

  "She's always been a hard worker, and now that she can't find a job, I think she's feeling lost."

  "So have a kid. That'll cheer her up. She seems like someone who likes kids."

  "Actually, I wanted to ask you about that."

  "About whether you should have a kid? You should probably be asking your wife about that." He slips his shoes off. "My feet are killing me. These damn shoes. The sales guy said they'd stretch out, but I've been wearing them for three days now and they feel even tighter."

  "Jack, I don't think I can have children."

  He rubs his feet. "Wear looser underwear and stay out of hot tubs. Those two things will work wonders for your sperm count."

  "No. That's not what I'm referring to. I'm saying I don't want my children to be part of what you and I are part of. If that's their future, then I don't want to have children."

  He sighs as he gets up and closes the door. "None of us want that, Pearce. But if that's your reason for not having children, then you're just letting them take away even more from you. If you want children, you should have them. There's no way I would've let those assholes deny me the experience of being a father. I love my girls. They're the light of my life."

  "But you knew your daughters would be forced to marry members. Didn't that bother you?"

  "I didn't worry about it. Not all the members are bad. Look at you and me. We're good husbands. Well, you more than me, but still. Both my girls ended up with decent men. Maybe not the most handsome, but my girls aren't exactly beauty queens."

  "I wouldn't want my daughter being forced to marry someone."

  "My daughters weren't forced. There was a selection process, and Martha and I were allowed to have input. Then the girls dated several of the men before deciding."

  "Yes, but in the future, the organization could change the rules and take away any choices."

  "If anything, the rules will become less strict as time goes on. Once some of those old bastards die off, things will start to change. You were at the meeting. You heard the younger members. They all want change, but the older members won't allow it."

  "If I had a son, I wouldn't want him to be a member."

  "Well, that's a problem. They might loosen the rules for daughters but I doubt that the rules regarding sons will ever change. They're determined to keep membership limited to the families who are already members."

  "Then I can't have children." I sigh and shake my head. "Rachel will never accept that. If she's able to have them, she will."

  "She can't have children?"

  "We don't know yet. She's going to have some tests run to find out."

  "Pearce, if you can have a child, you should. You don't want to miss out on being a father. Having children brings light to your life, and you need that. I did too. I don't know if I would've survived all these years if it weren't for my girls."

  "I can't bring children into this world knowing what their future will be."

  "You can't predict the future, Pearce. Things may change in twenty years. And if you really want that change, then go create it yourself. Start talking with the younger members. See if they, too, have concerns about their sons. Find the ones that do, and start a discussion with them. Come up with a plan to try to get them out of this."

  "You think that would be possible?"

  "Anything's possible. I've done the impossible before, and so can you."

  "I don't know, Jack. I think it's better if I just didn't have children."

  "But the woman you love wants them. So how will you tell her no?"

  "I can't." I shake my head. "I can't tell her that."

  "Would you want children if you didn't have to worry about the organization?"

  I nod. "Yes. Although I have concerns I won't be a good father."

  He chuckles. "All us men have those concerns. But you'll get over it." He gets up and stands in front of my desk. "Now get out of here. Get your ass home and practice making some babies."

  He picks his shoes off the floor and walks out of my office.

  I leave thinking maybe he's right. Maybe the rules will change when the older members die off, and maybe younger members like myself can be the catalyst for those changes. It's not likely, but it's possible. It gives me hope.

  When I get home, I find Rachel at the kitchen table with a pad of paper, writing something down.

  "What are you up to?" I come up behind her chair and rub her shoulders.

  "I'm making a list of organizations where I could volunteer. I already contacted the museums in the area. I was hoping they'd let me give tours, but the only volunteer work they have available is putting together mailers for potential donors and I don't want to do that." She sets her pen down. "Sorry I don't have dinner ready. I didn't realize what time it was."

  "Don't worry about dinner." I pull her up from her chair and kiss her. "Rachel."

  "Yes?" She looks sad. It's a look I rarely see on her and I don't like it. I want her to be happy and now she's not.

  "Rachel, I love you, and I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I wish I could do something to make you feel better."

  "I just need time to reevaluate what I'm going to do. For so long, I had this image in my head of what I'd be doing after graduation, and now that it's changed, I need to let that go and make a new plan." She softly smiles. "It'll all work out. I know it will. I always believe that things happen for a reason. So maybe I wasn't meant to work at a museum. Maybe I was meant to do something else." She kisses me. "I didn't plan on marrying Pearce Kensington, but look how that turned out."

  I smile. "How did it turn out?"

  "Better than I could've ever imagined. I ended up with a hot, sexy, charming husband who I love more and more each day."

  Even when she's fe
eling down, Rachel finds something to be positive about. She's always hopeful. Always looking for the silver lining. I need to be more like her. I need to believe that things will work out. Because sometimes they do. We're proof of that. I never thought I'd be able to be with her, and yet here we are, together and married.

  I hold her face in my hands, tilting it back slightly to kiss her. My lips move over hers and I hear her softly moan. I keep kissing her until she stops briefly to say, "Don't you want dinner?"

  "Not now. I'm busy." I undo the top button on her shirt and keep going.

  "Busy doing what?" She loosens my tie.

  "Practicing," I say, my lips returning to hers.

  She pulls back, looking confused. "What?"

  I don't explain. I just continue to kiss her as I walk her to the bedroom. And then I do as my boss suggested, and I make love to my beautiful wife, practicing making that baby we might have someday.

  I still have my doubts, but that part of me that wants to have a child keeps shoving those doubts aside.

  On Saturday, I wake Rachel up at seven, which is earlier than we normally wake up on the weekend.

  "What time is it?" she asks, rubbing her eyes.

  I kiss her. "Time to find a house."

  "A house?" She yawns. "What are you talking about?"

  "Come on. Get up." I pull the covers back. "I'm taking you to breakfast and then we're meeting with the real estate agent."

  "We're looking for houses? Today?"

  "Yes. We didn't have any plans for today and Jack bans me from the office on the weekends, so I thought we should go out and look at some houses."

  "Okay, but why so early?"

  "There's a lot to look at. And I asked the agent to take us to some different towns. I didn't want to limit our search to just around here. So hurry up. Get in the shower."

  She steps out of bed and slips off her silky nightgown, tossing it aside. "Are you showering with me?"

  My eyes drink her in. Her curves. Her skin. God, she turns me on. "I'd be happy to shower with you, but that will slow us down."