Can't Let You Go: A Wheeler Brothers Novel Read online

  I need to get out of here before she wakes up. But first, I take a moment to savor how this feels. To wake up with Jen in my bed, in my arms. To feel her warm body pressed into mine. It's perfect. Just like last night was perfect. But it can't happen again.

  I carefully slide my arm out from under her and scoot back until I'm able to turn and get up. She's still asleep as I quietly walk to the shower. When I come back in the room, she hasn't woken up so I get dressed but hear her talking.

  "Bryce?" she mumbles.

  I zip up my jeans and go sit beside her on the bed. "Yeah."

  "What time is it?" She rolls over, facing me, her eyes squinting at the light.

  "It's seven forty-five. I need to get over to the house."

  She sits up. "Are you dropping me off?" She shoves the covers back. "I better get dressed."

  "Just stay here." I pull the covers over her. "Sleep as long as you want."

  "I should get back to my place."

  "Why? You don't have class today."

  "No, but I have to work tonight." She snuggles back under my sheets. "But this is really cozy. And your apartment is nice and warm."

  "Warm? It's freaking hot. I was sweating all night. It's like a damn sauna in here."

  She laughs. "Then why didn't you turn the heat down?"

  "Because you said you were cold."

  "So you did it just for me?"

  "Yeah." I don't know why that surprises her. She knows I'd do absolutely anything for her. "Stay here and sleep, and when you're ready to go just call me and I'll come pick you up and take you home."

  "Okay." She sits up and hugs me. "Thanks."

  Why is she hugging me? It's not like we don't hug, but we normally do it when fully clothed, not when I'm shirtless and she's only wearing my thin t-shirt and in my bed. It's too tempting. Even without the alcohol clouding my judgment, I want to shove the sheets back, slide that t-shirt off her and kiss every inch of her body before—

  "Bryce?"

  I notice we're still hugging. Shit.

  I pull away. "I should go."

  She smiles and my eyes get caught on her soft full lips, remembering what we did last night. Before I can stop myself, I lean down and give her a kiss, then immediately stand up.

  "I'll see you later." I race over to my closet, grab a t-shirt, and hurry out of the room.

  What the hell? Why did I kiss her? Talk about mixed signals. Now she'll think I want to be more than friends. She'll think last night wasn't just a drunk make-out session but the start of a relationship. Fuck.

  I yank my t-shirt on, take my keys and phone, and leave my apartment, locking the door behind me. When I get outside, I'm met with a rush of frigid air. The sky is dark and hazy and there's a strong Chicago wind. Yesterday felt like spring, but today it's like winter decided to return. I go from sweating in my apartment to freezing, the cold air practically turning my wet hair to ice. And I didn't bring a coat. But I'm not going back upstairs to get it and risk having Jen tell me she wants to talk about that kiss I just gave her. She's definitely going to want to talk about that. And about last night. Shit.

  My phone rings as I get in my truck. It's Rita.

  "What do you want?" I bite out the words.

  "Did you pay it?"

  "Yeah, I fucking paid it. Now stop calling me."

  "Where's Jen? She's not answering her phone."

  "She's sleeping. She has her phone off."

  "And how would you know? Are you over there?"

  "She's at my apartment. We went out last night and it was late and—" Why am I telling her this? It's none of her business. "Never mind. I gotta go."

  "She stayed at your place? So you two are dating now?"

  "I'm heading to work. I can't talk." I hang up on her. I was in a good mood when I left my apartment, and then Rita calls, and just like that, I'm agitated, pissed off, wanting to punch something.

  When I get to the house, Nash and Jake are already there.

  "Where's breakfast?" Jake asks.

  "Shit, sorry. I forgot." Last night I told them I'd stop and get breakfast to thank them for helping me out. "I'll go get something."

  "Forget it," Nash says. "Callie's bringing food over." He smiles. "We knew you'd forget."

  "Seeing as how you were probably busy this morning." Jake laughs. "And last night."

  "We didn't do anything." I take my checklist out of the drawer. I always make a checklist for all my jobs. Otherwise I forget shit. "She fell asleep as soon as we got home."

  Jake leans back against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest. "And you slept on the couch?"

  I don't answer, pretending to review my checklist.

  "You slept in the same bed with her and didn't do anything?" Jake asks. "Yeah, right."

  "Believe whatever the hell you want but we didn't do anything." I toss the checklist aside.

  "Did you guys fight?" Nash asks.

  "No. Why do you think we were fighting?"

  "Because you're in a shitty mood," Jake says. "If it's not about Jen, then what's the problem?"

  I need to tell them. I could really use their advice.

  "Rita," I say.

  "What'd she do now?" Nash asks, sitting down at the kitchen table and kicking a chair out for me.

  I go sit down. "She fucking blackmailed me."

  "What the hell?" Jake joins us at the table. "And you let her?"

  "I shouldn't have, but yeah. I paid her damn parking ticket in exchange for her not telling Jen what I did after graduation."

  Nash glances at Jake, then back at me. "I don't get it. Graduation is when you first kissed Jen, right?"

  "He's talking about the night after that," Jake says.

  Jake is the only one I told what happened. I knew he'd find out because he was friends with her sister.

  "What'd you do?" Nash asks.

  "Had sex with a girl in my truck," I say, keeping my eyes on the table.

  "Who was it?"

  "Tanya," Jake answers. "Kendra's sister. Bryce and I were over at their apartment earlier that week and Tanya had a thing for Bryce."

  "I fucked up," I say. "I never should've done it. I only did because I was trying to get Jen out of my head."

  "By banging another chick?" Nash shakes his head.

  "Yeah, it was a mistake. But I can't go back and change it. And I don't want Jen finding out. I don't want her thinking that—" I decide not to finish that statement. I never told my brothers that my kiss with Jen wasn't just any kiss.

  "Thinking what?" Nash asks. "That the kiss didn't mean anything?"

  I don't answer him so he continues.

  "She already thinks that. You made it pretty clear when you avoided her after that night."

  "I only did that so she'd move on with someone else," I mutter.

  "Which makes no fucking sense," Jake says, "given that you love her and have for years."

  "Don't start with that shit. Jen and I are just friends. I shouldn't have kissed her that night."

  "But you did," Nash says, "and it messed with your head. Because it wasn't just any kiss."

  How do they know this stuff? Can they read my damn mind?

  "That's not the point," I say. "The point is that I don't want Jen knowing what I did. And now her mom's using that against me."

  "You can't let her do it," Nash says. "You're going to have to tell Jen the truth. Otherwise Rita will just keep blackmailing you. You never should've paid that ticket."

  "Jen didn't have the money. She would've had to work extra shifts just to pay for it."

  "How much was it?" Jake asks.

  "Over $200."

  Jake just shakes his head.

  Nash leans across the table, pointing his finger at me. "You are never doing that again. You hear me? She's not going to start using you the way she uses Jen. If she does, she'll have the whole damn Wheeler family at her door. We've put up with enough of her shit over the years. We're not gonna keep doing it."

  "Yeah, I agree
, but in this case, I panicked. I knew Jen didn't have the money and I didn't want her to know what I did after graduation."

  "Just tell her the truth and end this right now."

  I nod, agreeing to it, but I don't know if I'll really tell her. Not yet. Not until I have to, and right now, I don't have to. I paid the ticket and Rita got what she wanted. It's over. For now.

  "We should get to work." I shove my chair back.

  "Wait," Jake says. "First I have to know what happened last night."

  "Nothing happened. I already told you that."

  "He means at the club." Nash grins. "Jen and you disappeared for a good half hour, and then we saw you two getting pretty hot and heavy at the bar. What was that about?"

  I shrug. "I was drunk. We both were. Why the hell did you guys let me go there last night?"

  "Because you wanted to," Nash says. "Besides, there was no way you were going to get any work done after Jen showed up here in that dress."

  "And my idea for us to dress up?" Jake chuckles. "Freakin' awesome idea. Ivy was so damn turned on we barely made it in our apartment before she was ripping my clothes off."

  Nash smiles. "It had the same effect on Callie."

  I look at him. "I thought Callie was sick."

  He shrugs. "She was fine."

  "Wait. Did she fake being sick just so you wouldn't have to drive Jen home? Did you purposely do that so she'd have to stay at my place?"

  He holds his hands up in surrender. "It wasn't my idea. I swear. I really thought she was sick. But then we got home and well..." he smiles, "she wasn't sick."

  I stand up. "Damn Callie. You need to tell her to stay the hell out of this. I'm sick of her—"

  "Hey." Nash shoots up from his chair. "Don't be getting pissed at Callie. She thought she was helping."

  "Well, tell her she's only making it worse. Having Jen stay there last night will just make her think this is gonna go somewhere."

  "Yeah? So?" Nash throws his hands in the air. "What the hell are you waiting for? If you don't do something soon, Jen's going to move and you're never going to see her again."

  That's the point, but I can't tell my brothers that. They wouldn't get it.

  "I'm so damn sick of talking about this," I say raising my voice. "Jen and I are friends. That's it. How many more fucking times do I have to say it?" I storm out of the kitchen and into the garage and run right into Callie.

  "Hi, Bryce." She's smiling and holding a box of pastries.

  I can't be mad at her. She's one of the nicest people I've ever met, and she's good to Nash and good to my family. And she's been through hell the past couple years after losing her entire family in a car crash.

  "Hey." I smile back. "Need some help?" I take the box from her.

  "Thanks. I'll go get the rest."

  "Don't worry about it. Just go inside. I'll get it."

  So now I've got Callie trying to set me up with Jen, along with my brothers. And my dad. My whole damn family wants me to be with her. And in a perfect world, I would be. But this isn't a perfect world. Not by a long shot.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Jen

  This is pure bliss. Sleeping in on a Saturday instead of having to work at the bookstore. And lying in Bryce's bed, which is way more comfortable than mine. I have a double bed with a lumpy mattress and scratchy sheets because I can't afford anything better. Bryce has a king size bed with a new mattress and really soft sheets that smell like him.

  I could stay here all day. Right here in this bed. Of course it would be even better if Bryce were here, but he bolted out of bed before I was even awake. He was probably afraid I'd want to continue where we left off last night at the bar, and he doesn't want to go there. Because going there would mean we're dating and God forbid if that should happen. The world might end.

  He frustrates the hell out of me. I wish he'd just talk to me about what's going on in his head when it comes to him and me. We talk about everything else, but not that. I tried to get him to talk last night but all he told me is that he likes me as more than a friend, which I already knew. What I needed to know is why he won't act on his feelings. If he likes me as more than a friend, than why can't we be more than friends?

  My phone rings and I sit up, searching for where I put it. It's next to me on the dresser. Bryce must've put it there. I pick it up and see Callie's name.

  "Hey," I answer. "You feeling better?"

  "What?" She sounds confused, then says, "Oh, yeah. I'm better. Anyway, I just brought the guys breakfast and wondered if you want to go grab coffee somewhere. I can pick you up and when we're done I can take you back to your place." She pauses. "Unless you want to go back to Bryce's."

  "Yeah, I'm sure he'd love that," I say jokingly.

  "I'm sure he would too. You want me to ask him?"

  "No!" I say, panicking, because I know she totally would. "I was just kidding around. Don't say anything to him."

  Callie means well, but if she keeps meddling she's going to push Bryce even farther away from me.

  "So what do you think? Want to go for coffee? We could go to that place by Jake's apartment. The one with the comfy chairs."

  "Sure. But I really need to shower. Maybe I should go home first."

  "Your place is all the way on the other side of town. Just use Bryce's shower. Bryce, can Jen use your shower?"

  Oh, God, now he's going to think I'm trying to move in. Sleeping in his bed. Using his shower. I already keep a toothbrush and some other stuff over here, which he probably doesn't like. The last thing he wants is some girl living with him, even if that girl is me, his best friend.

  "Callie, just forget it. I don't need to—"

  "Hey." It's Bryce. "What the hell? You know you don't have to ask to use the shower. Go ahead and use it. There's towels in the cabinet next to the sink."

  "Okay. Thanks."

  "Did Callie wake you up?"

  "No. I was up, but still in bed. You have a comfy bed."

  "Yeah." He chuckles. "You mentioned that earlier."

  "I did? Oh. Well, I guess anything's better than mine. I'll let you get back to work."

  "So um...what are you doing tonight?"

  I almost drop the phone. Is Bryce Wheeler actually asking me out? On a date? So last night wasn't just a one-time thing? I feel my heart speed up in excitement.

  "I have to work until nine but after that I'm free. Why?"

  "Austin's band is playing tonight and we're all going to see him. We want you to come with us. We'll pick you up."

  My excitement plummets. It's not a date. We're just hanging out with his brothers like we always do.

  "I don't know. I'll have to see how I feel after work. I'm really tired after last night."

  "Then stay in bed a little longer."

  "I can't. I told Callie we'd go have coffee. And it's getting late. I need to get up."

  "I really want you to come tonight, so think about it."

  Why does he want me to come? Just so he's not the only one without a girl? Nash has Callie and Jake has Ivy, and I think sometimes Bryce only invites me to these family outings just so he doesn't have to feel like a third wheel.

  "I'll let you know later."

  "Sounds good. Here's Callie."

  "Is a half hour enough time?" Callie asks.

  "Yeah, that's plenty. See you then." I end the call and go jump in the shower. It feels naughty being in Bryce's shower, knowing he's been in here naked. Just thinking about that is turning me on. Or maybe I'm still turned on from last night. Making out with Bryce behind that stairwell was so damn hot. It was the first time he's ever touched me like that. When we kissed graduation night, that was all we did. Just kiss. Nothing more. But last night, I could tell he wanted more, and so did I, which is why I begged him to keep going. But just as his hand reached my panties, we were interrupted by people coming down the stairs. After that, Bryce didn't put his hand up my dress again.

  But he put his hands plenty of other places. On my ass. The ba
ck of my thigh. My breast. It was dark in the stairwell and nobody was around, but still, I'm sure people saw us. I don't usually make out like that in public and I never imagined my first time doing so would be with Bryce.

  And now? He won't even talk about it. In fact, I bet he'll try to forget it ever happened. And if I ask him about it, he'll say he was drunk and didn't know what he was doing, and we'll go back to being friends. It's so damn frustrating.

  But the odd thing is, this morning he kissed me goodbye. On the lips. He wasn't drunk, so why did he do that? It seemed automatic, like he didn't even think before doing it. Maybe he was just tired and didn't realize what he was doing.

  A half hour later, Callie shows up wearing a winter coat.

  "Is it cold out?" I ask, glancing out the window at the gray sky.

  "Oh my God, it's freezing." She shivers. "It's like winter decided to come back. It's so cold I think it might snow."

  "I heard there's a blizzard coming next week."

  "Great." She rolls her eyes. "Why do I live in Chicago? I need to move to Miami."

  "Nash is never moving. And since you're marrying him, you're stuck here."

  "Yeah, I know." She plops down on the couch. "It's really warm in here. I'm surprised Bryce would turn the heat up this high."

  "He did it for me. He knows I'm always cold." I go over to the thermostat and turn the heat down so it's not so hot when he gets home. "My apartment's probably freezing. I didn't have the heat on when I left." I walk to the door. "Ready to go?"

  "You don't have a coat?"

  "Just this." I point to the lightweight jacket I'm wearing over the sleeveless dress I wore last night.

  "You can't go out there like that. It's like twenty-five degrees." She opens the coat closet and takes out a dark green jacket with a sherpa lining. It's Bryce's work jacket. He wears it in the winter when he's working outside. "Here. Wear this. Bryce won't care."

  I laugh. "That'll be huge on me."

  "That's good. It'll cover your legs. I'm telling you, Jen, it's freezing out. You're going to need this."

  I take it from her and put it on. It's soft and warm and smells like Bryce's cologne. But it looks ridiculous. It's way too big, my hands getting lost in the sleeves. As bad as it looks on me, when we get outside, I'm glad I'm wearing it because it's freezing cold with a frigid wind.